Sisterhood or Showdown? The Media’s Narrative of Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber
In March 2023, I stumbled upon a viral TikTok trend that created a showdown at neighborhood coffee shops. Customers were faced with two tip jars: one marked “Selena Gomez” and the other “Hailey Bieber.” The message couldn’t have been clearer. Gomez’s jar was filled with dollar bills, while Bieber’s rattled with just a few silver coins.
What began as a simple tale of two women connected to the same man has evolved into a larger commentary on reducing their identities. Selena, cast as the “ex-girlfriend,” symbolizes lost love and nostalgia, while Hailey is typecast as the victorious “new wife,” the woman who claimed the prize. This isn’t just a celebrity drama; it’s a modern retelling of an ancient story—where women aren’t valued for their individuality but for their proximity to male desire. Like Helen of Troy, whose beauty sparked a war not for her own sake but as a prize to be won, both Selena and Hailey are drawn into a cultural script that diminishes them to competitors in a zero-sum game, where the love of a man, aka Justin Bieber, is the ultimate conquest.
In today’s digital age, where everyone’s a creator, social media amplifies celebrity drama, turning feuds into cultural spectacles. Platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and X allow fans to shape narratives through memes, gossip, and viral videos. The hashtag wars of today, like #TeamSelena with 1.7 billion views and #TeamHailey’s 152 million, are modern-day factions in a long-standing cultural trend that reduces women to mere pawns in a rivalry.
TikTok's role in fueling celebrity rivalries is evident in a viral video from user @selena_tors_bd, which juxtaposes Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber's cooking shows to imply mimicry, sparking a wave of commentary and speculation. The video, which garnered 462,000 likes and over 4 million views, suggests Hailey mimicked Selena’s catchphrase and show concept highlighting their shared use of the phrase "Okey Dokey." While the claim lacks substantive evidence, the video’s viral success underscores the cultural appetite for magnifying even the smallest perceived parallels for rivalry. This obsessive scrutiny mirrors a deeper historical pattern that Lindsay M. Taylor explores in Terrible Beauty: The Many Faces of Helen of Troy in Painting from Antiquity to the Nineteenth Century. Taylor examines how Helen, referred to as the epitome of beauty, has often been depicted not as an autonomous figure but as a vessel for discord, her identity flattened into a cause for conflict rather than a multifaceted individual. Similarly, modern media pits women like Selena and Hailey against each other, reducing them to archetypes in a narrative of competition. In this framework, Selena’s and Hailey’s personas, much like Helen’s beauty, are weaponized as catalysts for tension, denying them the complexity of individuality and reinforcing a tired trope: women defined not by their accomplishments or character but by their perceived ability to antagonize one another.
The impact of TikTok on celebrity rivalries goes beyond online content, with users turning the Selena Gomez vs. Hailey Bieber narrative into interactive, real-world experiences that blend fandom and commerce. Baristas, drive-thru workers, and nail salon technicians have embraced the Gomez vs. Bieber trend, setting up tip jars adorned with cut-out images of Selena and Hailey, inviting customers to declare their loyalty with spare change. One TikTok user @lauravelarde shows these two tip jars at Smoothie King, calling it the “funniest thing ever” with these two jars, where she then says, “Of course, I'm tipping Selena Gomez.” These seemingly trivial acts of “support” transform public allegiance into a performative gesture, turning financial contributions into a spectacle and embedding the feud into everyday life. This fan-driven economy, spanning professional creators to casual participants, not only amplifies divisions between the two women but also commodifies their perceived conflict, elevating it from a cultural event to a thriving marketplace of engagement.
As the feud continued to unfold on Instagram, the fluctuating follower counts of Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez became a striking reflection of the digital era's obsession with popularity. Instagram didn't just serve as a platform for the rivalry—it became a real-time scoreboard where every follow and unfollow signaled the shifting tides of public opinion. The numbers were more than just statistics; they became the currency by which loyalty was measured, and they determined who "won" in this social media spectacle. This viral drama, fueled by participatory culture, turned Instagram into an arena where followers weren’t just passive observers—they were active participants in the conflict, casting votes through their engagement. As The Hollywood Reporter notes, Selena's surge in followers, making her the most followed woman on Instagram, suggests that visibility in the digital space is now equated with value, sidelining talent and individuality in favor of who can garner the most attention.
Amidst the feud with Selena Gomez, death threats were eventually aimed at Hailey Bieber revealing the dangerous trajectory of the narrative, echoing ancient rivalries like that of Helen and Troy. In response, Gomez publicly denounced the harassment taking to Instagram stating, "Hailey Bieber reached out to me and let me know that she has been receiving death threats and such hateful negativity. This isn't what I stand for. No one should have to experience hate or bullying” (People Magazine). Gomez emphasized her stance on kindness, urging empathy while highlighting the way modern women are trapped in a cycle of public competition and dehumanization. Just as Helen became the symbol of men’s desire and the cause of war, both women have become pawns in a digital spectacle, where their worth is reduced to public opinion and viral drama. This situation underscores the dangers of unchecked fan culture, where blind loyalty can spiral into harassment, causing severe emotional and mental harm. On platforms like Reddit, forums such as “HaileyBieberSnark,” with 7,600 members, perpetuate this toxic environment. The bio of this forum claims Hailey is “this generation's most infamous homewrecker/stalker,” and openly promotes disdain for her personal and professional life. The anonymity of the internet allows these extreme voices to flourish, revealing how toxic fan culture can escalate into dangerous behavior.
In the myth of Helen of Troy, Paris, the prince of Troy, ignites the Trojan War by abducting Helen, a decision driven by his desire for her. Despite not participating in the battles, his actions set off a destructive conflict that devastates both sides (Simmonds). This myth mirrors modern celebrity feuds, particularly the ongoing tension between Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber, with Justin Bieber playing a role similar to Paris. Justin’s past relationship with Selena and his marriage to Hailey have positioned him at the center of their rivalry, yet he largely avoids the intense public scrutiny that both women face. It’s ironic that Justin Bieber, known for his chart-topping love songs about love and heartbreak, skillfully avoids the hard questions that women like Hailey and Selena are forced to answer. While they are relentlessly scrutinized and criticized in the media, Justin, like Paris in the myth of Helen of Troy, remains largely passive, evading the same level of accountability. This disparity reflects the societal tendency to place the burden of conflict on women, just as Paris is not held accountable for the war that ensues due to his actions.
In a media landscape obsessed with dissecting the lives of public figures, it’s painfully clear that women are at a disadvantage. While men seem to glide through the spotlight, dodging the harsh criticism, women are left to navigate the media’s insatiable appetite for drama. It’s like we’re watching a soap opera where the plot is always set to blame the woman, and yet we keep tuning in, perpetuating a narrative that casts women as the villains in their own stories. As noted in Free Press Unlimited’s Statement: Media Play a Crucial Role in Achieving Gender Equality, “46% of news stories reinforce gender stereotypes while only 4% of stories clearly challenge gender stereotypes.” The persistent vilification of women, combined with the near-exemption of their male counterparts from accountability, mirrors the age-old trope of women being blamed for male-driven conflict. Take the long-standing spectacle surrounding Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Jennifer Aniston: even today, we still portray women as rivals, not for their brilliance or depth, but for the attention of men. This scenario serves as a stark reminder that, despite advances in gender equality, we’re still scripting relationships as epic battles, straight out of the Helen and Troy playbook, where women are treated as mere territory. It’s time to address our complicity in this narrative and strive for a culture that genuinely uplifts and supports women. Because, let’s face it: society does a stellar job of feeding our insecurities already.
Works Cited
What began as a simple tale of two women connected to the same man has evolved into a larger commentary on reducing their identities. Selena, cast as the “ex-girlfriend,” symbolizes lost love and nostalgia, while Hailey is typecast as the victorious “new wife,” the woman who claimed the prize. This isn’t just a celebrity drama; it’s a modern retelling of an ancient story—where women aren’t valued for their individuality but for their proximity to male desire. Like Helen of Troy, whose beauty sparked a war not for her own sake but as a prize to be won, both Selena and Hailey are drawn into a cultural script that diminishes them to competitors in a zero-sum game, where the love of a man, aka Justin Bieber, is the ultimate conquest.
In today’s digital age, where everyone’s a creator, social media amplifies celebrity drama, turning feuds into cultural spectacles. Platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and X allow fans to shape narratives through memes, gossip, and viral videos. The hashtag wars of today, like #TeamSelena with 1.7 billion views and #TeamHailey’s 152 million, are modern-day factions in a long-standing cultural trend that reduces women to mere pawns in a rivalry.
TikTok's role in fueling celebrity rivalries is evident in a viral video from user @selena_tors_bd, which juxtaposes Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber's cooking shows to imply mimicry, sparking a wave of commentary and speculation. The video, which garnered 462,000 likes and over 4 million views, suggests Hailey mimicked Selena’s catchphrase and show concept highlighting their shared use of the phrase "Okey Dokey." While the claim lacks substantive evidence, the video’s viral success underscores the cultural appetite for magnifying even the smallest perceived parallels for rivalry. This obsessive scrutiny mirrors a deeper historical pattern that Lindsay M. Taylor explores in Terrible Beauty: The Many Faces of Helen of Troy in Painting from Antiquity to the Nineteenth Century. Taylor examines how Helen, referred to as the epitome of beauty, has often been depicted not as an autonomous figure but as a vessel for discord, her identity flattened into a cause for conflict rather than a multifaceted individual. Similarly, modern media pits women like Selena and Hailey against each other, reducing them to archetypes in a narrative of competition. In this framework, Selena’s and Hailey’s personas, much like Helen’s beauty, are weaponized as catalysts for tension, denying them the complexity of individuality and reinforcing a tired trope: women defined not by their accomplishments or character but by their perceived ability to antagonize one another.
The impact of TikTok on celebrity rivalries goes beyond online content, with users turning the Selena Gomez vs. Hailey Bieber narrative into interactive, real-world experiences that blend fandom and commerce. Baristas, drive-thru workers, and nail salon technicians have embraced the Gomez vs. Bieber trend, setting up tip jars adorned with cut-out images of Selena and Hailey, inviting customers to declare their loyalty with spare change. One TikTok user @lauravelarde shows these two tip jars at Smoothie King, calling it the “funniest thing ever” with these two jars, where she then says, “Of course, I'm tipping Selena Gomez.” These seemingly trivial acts of “support” transform public allegiance into a performative gesture, turning financial contributions into a spectacle and embedding the feud into everyday life. This fan-driven economy, spanning professional creators to casual participants, not only amplifies divisions between the two women but also commodifies their perceived conflict, elevating it from a cultural event to a thriving marketplace of engagement.
As the feud continued to unfold on Instagram, the fluctuating follower counts of Hailey Bieber and Selena Gomez became a striking reflection of the digital era's obsession with popularity. Instagram didn't just serve as a platform for the rivalry—it became a real-time scoreboard where every follow and unfollow signaled the shifting tides of public opinion. The numbers were more than just statistics; they became the currency by which loyalty was measured, and they determined who "won" in this social media spectacle. This viral drama, fueled by participatory culture, turned Instagram into an arena where followers weren’t just passive observers—they were active participants in the conflict, casting votes through their engagement. As The Hollywood Reporter notes, Selena's surge in followers, making her the most followed woman on Instagram, suggests that visibility in the digital space is now equated with value, sidelining talent and individuality in favor of who can garner the most attention.
Amidst the feud with Selena Gomez, death threats were eventually aimed at Hailey Bieber revealing the dangerous trajectory of the narrative, echoing ancient rivalries like that of Helen and Troy. In response, Gomez publicly denounced the harassment taking to Instagram stating, "Hailey Bieber reached out to me and let me know that she has been receiving death threats and such hateful negativity. This isn't what I stand for. No one should have to experience hate or bullying” (People Magazine). Gomez emphasized her stance on kindness, urging empathy while highlighting the way modern women are trapped in a cycle of public competition and dehumanization. Just as Helen became the symbol of men’s desire and the cause of war, both women have become pawns in a digital spectacle, where their worth is reduced to public opinion and viral drama. This situation underscores the dangers of unchecked fan culture, where blind loyalty can spiral into harassment, causing severe emotional and mental harm. On platforms like Reddit, forums such as “HaileyBieberSnark,” with 7,600 members, perpetuate this toxic environment. The bio of this forum claims Hailey is “this generation's most infamous homewrecker/stalker,” and openly promotes disdain for her personal and professional life. The anonymity of the internet allows these extreme voices to flourish, revealing how toxic fan culture can escalate into dangerous behavior.
In the myth of Helen of Troy, Paris, the prince of Troy, ignites the Trojan War by abducting Helen, a decision driven by his desire for her. Despite not participating in the battles, his actions set off a destructive conflict that devastates both sides (Simmonds). This myth mirrors modern celebrity feuds, particularly the ongoing tension between Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber, with Justin Bieber playing a role similar to Paris. Justin’s past relationship with Selena and his marriage to Hailey have positioned him at the center of their rivalry, yet he largely avoids the intense public scrutiny that both women face. It’s ironic that Justin Bieber, known for his chart-topping love songs about love and heartbreak, skillfully avoids the hard questions that women like Hailey and Selena are forced to answer. While they are relentlessly scrutinized and criticized in the media, Justin, like Paris in the myth of Helen of Troy, remains largely passive, evading the same level of accountability. This disparity reflects the societal tendency to place the burden of conflict on women, just as Paris is not held accountable for the war that ensues due to his actions.
In a media landscape obsessed with dissecting the lives of public figures, it’s painfully clear that women are at a disadvantage. While men seem to glide through the spotlight, dodging the harsh criticism, women are left to navigate the media’s insatiable appetite for drama. It’s like we’re watching a soap opera where the plot is always set to blame the woman, and yet we keep tuning in, perpetuating a narrative that casts women as the villains in their own stories. As noted in Free Press Unlimited’s Statement: Media Play a Crucial Role in Achieving Gender Equality, “46% of news stories reinforce gender stereotypes while only 4% of stories clearly challenge gender stereotypes.” The persistent vilification of women, combined with the near-exemption of their male counterparts from accountability, mirrors the age-old trope of women being blamed for male-driven conflict. Take the long-standing spectacle surrounding Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and Jennifer Aniston: even today, we still portray women as rivals, not for their brilliance or depth, but for the attention of men. This scenario serves as a stark reminder that, despite advances in gender equality, we’re still scripting relationships as epic battles, straight out of the Helen and Troy playbook, where women are treated as mere territory. It’s time to address our complicity in this narrative and strive for a culture that genuinely uplifts and supports women. Because, let’s face it: society does a stellar job of feeding our insecurities already.
Works Cited
- Cambridge University Press & Assessment. *Exploring the Influence of Fan Culture on Media*. Cambridge University Press, 2020.
- "How TikTok is Changing Pop Culture and the World." *Digital Weekday*, 28 Apr. 2021, https://digitalweekday.com/2021/04/28/how-tiktok-is-changing-pop-culture-and-the-world/
- Haffenden, Dayna. "Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber’s Reignited TikTok Feud, Explained." *Complex*, 23 Feb. 2023, https://www.complex.com/pop-culture/a/dayna-haffenden/selena-gomez-hailey-bieber-reignited-tiktok-feud-explained.
- Newman, Jason. "Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber’s Feud, Explained." *Rolling Stone*, 21 Mar. 2023, https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/selena-gomez-hailey-bieber-feud-timeline-explainer-1234689190/.
- Shilliday, Beth. "Selena Gomez Says Hailey Bieber Received Death Threats Amid Drama, Asks Fans to Stop the 'Hateful Negativity'." *People*, 24 Mar. 2023, https://people.com/music/selena-gomez-says-hailey-bieber-got-death-threats-asks-fans-stop-hate/#:~:text=%22Hailey%20Bieber%20reached%20out%20to,want%20this%20to%20all%20stop.%22.
- Wang, Zihan. "From Passive Consumers to Active Participants: The Changing Role of Fans in Media Production." *Humanities and Social Sciences*, vol. 8, no. 2, 2020, pp. 23-33, https://www.sciencepublishinggroup.com/article/10.11648/j.hss.20200802.11.
- https://www.freepressunlimited.org/sites/default/files/2021-04/Statement%20media%20play%20a%20crucial%20role%20in%20achieving%20gender%20equality.pdf
- Simmonds, Nigel. “Paris of Troy: The Prince Who Started the Trojan War.” The Collector, 27 July 2023, https://www.thecollector.com/paris-of-troy/.
- "HaileyBaldwinSnark." Reddit, 2024, www.reddit.com/r/HaileyBaldwinSnark/search/?q=death+threats+appointed+at+hailey+bieber&cId=3b85f334-34d1-421c-82c5-2fd3a6c77929&iId=f36dd3ce-452f-4696-bf16-a5231e3fb6c1.
- Taylor, Lindsay M. Terrible Beauty: The Many Faces of Helen of Troy in Painting from Antiquity to the Nineteenth Century. Sotheby's Institute of Art, 2020
- @lauravelarde. “Selena vs. Hailey Tip Jars at Smoothie King.” TikTok, 23 Nov. 2024, www.tiktok.com/t/ZTYD9Y5en/.
- @selena_tors_bd. “Selena + Chef and Hailey Bieber Cooking Show Comparison.” Instagram, 15 Mar. 2023, www.instagram.com/reel/CpfRh3KBx9W/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==.